• Edmund, Jenny & DM Cupids

Dealing with rejection



Rejection is an emotional wound that we sustain almost daily from our family, friends, dating partners, colleagues and now online due to the constant exposure to social media, online dating apps and instant messaging. Rejections, even minor ones, can hurt as much as physical discomfort because humans brains are wired to create this pain so that we are driven to augment our behavior in order to be socially accepted.


Thus, being rejected by a potential partner can be a very painful experience. However, the biggest damage to our self-esteem is often caused by ourselves when we tell ourselves that we are not enough after feeling hurt by the rejection. We may even spiral into endless anger and frustration at ourselves or others.


In this article, we will take a look at some healthier ways of processing rejection and applying emotional first aid to yourself when you find yourself feeling down.


Minimize self-criticism

All of us will ruminate over our flaws and faults after being rejected. There is nothing wrong with healthy reflection however overdoing this is punitive in nature and can damage your self-esteem. Another common misperception is thinking that the rejection is personal in nature when in actual fact, it is mostly due to circumstances and the fit of the relationship in the person's life.


Improve self-esteem

It’s important to boost your self-worth after your esteem has taken a hit from the rejection. Affirm aspects of your positive qualities that you find important and meaningful, and what people appreciate in you in other relationships. For example, you may be a good listener to your friends or as an employee, you are responsible and hardworking. List specific examples of those instances where you have exhibited those qualities and read it every day as a form of emotional first-aid.


Get connected

Humans are social beings and need to be part of social groups. Feeling rejected causes you to feel unsettled and therefore, it’s good to remind yourself that you are part of certain groups where you are valued such as your family, work colleagues, or hobby groups. Make plans to meet these groups. Calling your grandparents or loved ones who are just happy to hear your voice works well too!


In conclusion, dealing with rejections is all amount Limiting the psychological damage and avoid hurting yourself more by ruminating. Take action to speed up your recovery and move onto the next social event with confidence!