As we are fast approaching Year 2020, we would like to focus our attention on the Guys, to strengthen their skills in courtship as it is still the preference of the Ladies to be chased after by the Guys instead of the other way round. So Guys, consider this a quick guide of the right and wrong moves when courting a lady, pay attention for the next 5 minutes and excel in your courtship skills for the New Year!
1. Moving Too Fast… Or Too Slow
As with running a marathon, the pace of your romantic interactions or pursuits must be just right, not too fast, or too slow so as to be able to complete the race. Generally the pace is what dictates her comfort level with you. It is a very important thing to take note off and it is very crucial for you to be sensitive towards how comfortable she is, and how comfortable your actions make her.
This sounds pretty broad-based, doesn’t it? The key is to be receptive to your own instincts, hers as well. Signs she may be uncomfortable with the pace at which you are going with, and are not limited to:
· Slow replies with hints of disinterest or discomfort.
· Conversations which become awkward very often.
· She tells you that the date plans are boring.
· She prefers to go out with others instead of you.
· Cancelling of dates or outings last minute/very often.
These are just 5 of many ways you can tell that the lady is probably not too comfortable with the pace you are going. When a lady becomes uncomfortable with the pace you are going, it can be probably caused by a number of dating habits that you have and you might not even know that you are doing them. These can include but are not limited to:
· Replying the lady very quickly or very slowly too many times.
· Being too passive with date choices, making dates uninteresting.
· Talking too much about yourself during dates.
· Asking her many questions very often during dates.
· Discussing about family stuff with her too soon.
2. Showering Gifts
Despite the differing opinions about giving gifts when going on dates with the lady, it is gentlemanly to get a gift for the lady on your dates while courting her. Do, however, avoid anything too lavish or expensive. Expensive gifts can be intimidating for the ladies and send off the wrong signals. A gift like a modestly priced bouquet, box of chocolates or even just something which is hand-made would be adequate enough to show your level of thoughtfulness.
3. Asking Her Out Way Too Often
Too much of a good thing can end up as a bad thing, this can also be applied to dates. Asking a lady out too many times can make you come off as desperate or have no friends to hang out with, more importantly, it showcase that you lack the sense of space. Imagine a lady asking you out almost every day, you would think she is way too clingy, and her behavior is annoying, wouldn’t you? This actually works both ways, the same can be applied for the ladies, and they will feel annoyed when guys constantly want to spend time with them. Everybody needs their own personal space at some point in time.
Why not take the days off the dates to focus on your own life, and to reflect on how you did on the date, then improve on the next one? You can even use the spare time to plan for your next date, make it a lovely one and let the both of you have an unforgettable dating moment.
Now, for those who wonder, how often should you be going out with the lady? Actually, there isn’t really a prescribed time-frame, it all depends on the level of chemistry or attraction that you have on each other. For a reasonable dating frequency, keep the outings to be within 1 to 2 times per week all this while keeping a consistent flow of lively chats.
4. Sensitivity To Her Feelings
Well for the Guys, you will always have the challenging task of having to be sensitive to how the lady is feeling. Ladies are generally perceived to be more emotionally complex in nature who would prefer to drop hints instead of telling you how they feel directly.
Let us take a simple example, if the lady suddenly appears to be distracted and moody one day which she doesn’t really wish to talk about it, should the guy attempt to find out more from her or just leave her be? Well for starters, NEVER LEAVE THEM ALONE BY THEMSELVES, the right answer would be to show that you care and show her the concern that she needs without having to probe any further if she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing it with you.
Just let her know that you are always there if she wishes to speak to someone and try to take her mind off the matter by chilling out together and doing something nice for her.
It is imperative that the Guys are able to pick up the little signs from the ladies on how they feel as soon as they possibly can. Understanding her and being sensitive to her needs will increase your overall attraction to the lady especially since you make her feel that she is able to emotionally connect with you on a higher level. This would also allow her to be more confident when confiding in you on personal matters in the future without the fear of being judged or misunderstood.
Courting a lady you fancy is a simple thing to do, but a hard topic to master and understand. Remember, all it takes is to be a little more understanding and sensitive to the lady of your dreams and this would definitely make your dating journey a more successful one.