• Edmund, Jenny & DM Cupids

Ways to increase attraction after a first date


We have all gone out with someone that we have a good feeling about, but somehow it does not translate into a long-term relationship. The texts and meet-ups get less frequent, and you are left wondering where this is going. Before you know it, your date has ghosted on you. Many singles can relate to this deeply and wonder what they had done wrong.


There are times when they are windows of opportunities to deepen the connection. It is especially crucial to fully gain your match's interest during this time frame before they start to lose interest and move on.


It is easy to be instantly fall in love with someone, but it definitely requires some hard work to stoke the fire, turning burning embers into passionate flames. Here are some tips to help you increase attraction and deepen the connection after the first date!


Ask meaningful questions

During the initial stages of the relationship, things can feel awkward because you don’t really know this person well. Getting to know someone is one important first step that many of us can’t do well because we take it for granted that intimacy can be built with time, but it is really not the case.


Here are some questions you could ask them:

  • What are your biggest dreams in life?

  • What are you most afraid of?

  • What are your favourite childhood memories?

  • Who would you say has had the biggest impact on your life? And why?

  • What would a perfect day look like for you?

Even if your partner does not know what to say, or if you don’t know what to ask next, you can simply say “tell me more”. Many people love being listened to, and this increases their attraction for you in a budding relationship. Be sure to also share after listening as honest sharing between the both of you will also build trust in the long run.


Create situations where physical touch is possible

Physical touch is important in establishing connection however, it is certainly very tricky because there is a fine line between being expressing affection and being handsy!


A good move is to invite your date to places where physical touch is natural and expected such as the ice skating rink, watching movies side by side in the theatre, or going for rides at the amusement park. If you do not want to come off too strongly, offer a light touch on the arm and back.


Asking them to do a favor for you

When you like someone, your first instinct is to offer to do something for them. There is something known as the "Ben Franklin effect" which states that when we do a favor for someone, it makes us like them more.


You can ask your date to help you with small favors such as taking a picture for you, checking something out at the mall or loaning you a book. In their mind, they will justify why they are doing favors for you and the reason is because he or she must like you enough to do something for you.


Planting date ideas for the future

During your first date, you can casually mention some ideas for future dates that are based on your common interests. For example, if both of you love nature, you can share that you had been wanting to explore a new nature park and maybe he or she could come along with you. Don’t worry about scaring off your date because you are being friendly and fun by initiating date ideas! It also gives your match some courage to ask you out or more likely to agree when you do contact them for the second date.


Share secrets and little facts about yourself

To help someone feel special to you, you can share some secrets or little facts about yourself that not many people know about. This move fosters a deep emotional connection fast but take care not to reveal anything too sad or personal on the first date because that can be too heavy and considered inappropriate. Stay on safe topics and definitely avoid anything potentially controversial.


Try something exciting together

Stop going for boring dinner dates and go for adrenaline-inducing activities such as taking roller coaster rides at the amusement park, rock climbing, or seeing a scary movie! When we are physiologically aroused, we attribute it as attraction for the person we are with.